Our Secrets to a Long-Lasting Relationship

Our love story may just be as common as others: colleagues who fell in love at the workplace. But I'd like to believe that ours is as unique as all relationships are. That destiny played its part and prayers are indeed answered. We are in together in this journey to forever. Oo, may forever.

The Love Story

As I write this, I just remembered that it has been 9 years this month when we first met. I was conducting the New Hire Orientation that day and he was one of our new employees. An hour later after that session we were formally introduced.

Oh, sya pala yung bago naming kasama sa HR.

Ready ka na ba sa chika?

Mabilis ang mga pangyayari. Grab a popcorn na!

I don't know if it was my resting-bitch-face or I was just not appealing to most men. But I have not had a formal, honest, direct, and sincere suitor until Joseph came.

The beginning of his courtship started at my boss' office room - while my boss and J's team (his boss, subordinates, and teammates) were having a meeting. Hanep di ba? Napakagandang timing!

I was asked by my boss to get inside his room because apparently they asked J who he likes in HR and he said it was me. J admitted in front of everyone that he has a crush on me and that if I'd let him, he will prove himself worthy.

After that, he met with my mother and lola on the very first day he courted and expressed to them his intentions. Unang araw mga besh, unang araw pa lang! My lola liked him right away.

He met my father the next week.

Oo besh, mabilis lang. Sinagot ko na sya kagad after two weeks of courting. Di naman ako masyadong excited ano?

Why prolong it? I have seen his true self  and sincerity from day one and he has passed all my tests including praying with me.

J was my first and only boyfriend. And I was his first and only girlfriend.

Just barely three months into our relationship, J has already asked me to marry him. Nagmamadali si sir. Hahaha!

I didn't say yes right away but after some time of pangungulit, prayers, and pagninilay, I finally said yes. Dun sa favorite dating place namin - sa McDo.

And within that year, we tied the knot.

Sabi sayo mabilis lang eh.

Our Secrets

We will be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary later this year and we are happy to say that our relationship gets stronger as the years go by. Not perfect but stronger. Although our relationship prior to marriage might be considered by others as a swift one, it was not a deterrent to us having a good, healthy, and long lasting relationship. We believe that our experiences prior to meeting each other have molded us to the persons we wanted to marry. And that we are destined for each other.

We believe that all spouses must meet three roles once they get married. Unable to fulfill one of those roles can put your marriage on the rocks. My husband and I believe that you need to be a friend, a partner, and a lover to your spouse. Where these roles intertwine, is the real secret to a healthy and long lasting-relationship.

We believe that as a spouse, you need to be a friend, a partner, and a lover.
Here's a simple diagram - where the roles intertwine is the secret to a
strong, healthy, and long-lasting relationship

Be a Friend.

Be open. Be honest. Be direct.

Cliche as it may sound, but your spouse should be your best friend. Hindi lang tipong kaibigan, dapat matalik na kaibigan.

As a friend you should communicate regularly, openly, and directly.

Wag ka na magpaliguy-ligoy pa besh, dapat sinasabi mo kaagad, walang pagpapanggap, walang beating-around-the-bush.

Kung nagagalit ka dahil hindi sinara ng asawa mo yung bintana kahit umuulan, sabihin mo. Kung di mo gusto amoy ng nilabhang damit, bring it up. Minsan ang mga maliliit na bagay ay naiipon at bigla na lang sumasabog ang galit kapag napuno na.

We love being friends. We can play and goof around.

We tell each other our needs.

Bottomline, wag mo hahayang manghula pa ang asawa mo sa mga naiisip at saloobin mo. Pero ikaw kailangan mo himay himayin at hulaan sya. You need to listen well to what your spouse is saying while paying attention to body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. What the person is saying may be different to what he/she means. Unfair sa unang tingin, but with practice you'd be able to read his cues with just a breath.

"Love is a meeting of two souls, fully accepting the dark and the light within each other, bound by the courage to grow through struggle into bliss." ~ Author Unknown

My husband and I have different interests but that does not mean we can't have fun together. In a marriage or any relationship, you should learn to know and respect your partner's interests. He likes sports, I don't generally like it. But as a wife, I had to know what he likes and love even if I don't fully understand what's the big deal about them anyway. He does the same thing for me even if he can't stand it, he respects and listens to the things I like.

Dahil NBA season na ulet, taga report ako ng scores ng favorite team namin, kahit di nya hilingin.

The key here is, even if you have completely different interests, find time to know your partner's interests. It adds zest into your relationship if you can talk and share about the things that interests you.

Pernitting privacy builds trust.

My husband and I value trust and honesty hence there are things that we keep private from each other. I don't have to check on him all the time or ask whom he spoke with today. Or check his phone. Ganun din sya sa akin. Kasi naniniwala kami na kapag nagtitiwala ka at tapat ka sa asawa mo, kahit may sari sarili kayong telepono, lakad, o Facebook account, hindi ka gagawa ng ikakasama ng loob ng asawa mo. At dahil open, direct, and honest kayo, napaguusapan nyo ang mga bagay na ginawa nyo nung di kayo magkasama. In short, nagtsitsismisan kaming mag-asawa bago matulog.

This also means we keep things about us private including our issues and dreams for our family.  We rarely share them to other people. Sa aming mag-asawa lang yun. 

“It doesn't really matter how right I am, if I hurt my wife’s feeling, I'm already wrong.”  - Chinkee Tan

Be a Partner

As partners you should always compliment and complement each other.

Because we are both open and direct, it is easier for us to say compliments to each other, even for the smallest things. We are not perfect individuals but as partners we can make things happen. We look and help out each other.

Share the load.

We don't believe in gender stereotyping. My husband can be very dependable in the kitchen or ironing, and he can depend on me for other things men in general are stereotyped to do. As partners, we share the chores in our home most specially when we had no househelper for years. Hindi kami siguro naka survive kung di kami nagtulungan.

Isa sa mga favorite namin na activity ay mag grocery as a family. This way we can decide the brands we will use at home, including those for laundry. We are very particular on this since we live ina condo and our clothes don't get dried under the sun, hence we choose only the best. At dalawa kami nagdedecide para dito.

We use fabric conditioner para di mamaho mga damit namin lalo na kapag tag-ulan kung kelan ang hirap magpatuyo sa drying area.

And we were so glad to have discovered Del Forever Love because it made our clothes smell so good and it lasts 15x more than the regular detergent we have ever tried! And we are never going back!

We should try Del Forever Joy as well.

Me and hubby are always communicating. And even if we can't do
groceries together, we make sure to remind each other of the things we
need at home, including Del Forever Love Fabric Conditioner

When my husband goes out to work, he is reminded of home because of the scent that lasts on his clothes.

We specially love how our bedsheets still smell fresh even after days from laundry. Sarap humiga at matulog after a full day of work.

Pati mga unan ng mga anak namin na pawisin kapag tulog, mabango pa din sa Del Forever Love.

I think I will forever love this FabCon!

Kaya naman pala the Team Kramer trusts Del to keep their clothes mabango all day!

Be a Lover.

Even with kids, you should not forget to be a lover of your spouse. My husband and I always give each other's needs based on our language of love. We both enjoy words, action, and intimacy.

We don't have date nights as much as we would like but we spend time watching movies at home. Yun na ang date namin. Hirap pag may small kids and a baby. But for now, this set up works for us.

Be your spouse's personal porn star.

We are all adults here. And one important aspect of marriage is sex. Sex is good inside marriage. It was designed for husband and wife.

Oo, simplehan ko na lang at direct to the point ha. Be his/her personal porn star.

We are not saying you'd act like one. Our point is, communicate with your spouse how you'd like to do sex and fulfill each other's deepest darkest desires.

Dalhin mo sa 'langit' ang asawa mo, ika nga nila.

Communication, respect, and compromise are the keys.

It takes two people to make a relationship work

The most important secret to a long lasting relationship is based in the Bible. The Kramers couple made a big buzz a few days ago on social media because of their stand. And we agree with them. Me submitting to my husband does not make me less as a person. I honor him as the head of our family. And placing God in the center makes relationships strong, healthy, and last longer. Our secrets will not work if not for Him.

Know more about Del Fabcon through their Facebook page: facebook.com/delfabcon 

-- This is my entry for Nuffnang and Del Fabric Conditioner Blogging Contest --

P.S. This article was written by me with the approval and inputs of the Husband. Because it takes two people to make a relationship work, this blog post needed two heads and two hearts as well. :)


  1. Do you have any secrets to share? Let us know in the comment box! :)

  2. Aw. I love the love story. I like it that the husband even has his approval about this post. I bet if your family will just end with three kids. With this kind of relationship, it seems it will never be just V, Z, and I. More to come.

    1. Waaa!! Okay na ko Momi Berlin sa 3 kids! Quota na. Hahahaha! 😄😄

  3. And the "be your partner's personal porn star!" Rok en roll. Lol. Mas masaya kapag mabango ang bedsheet di ba? Hmmm... agree ako sa last. Dapat aralin ko maige yan. Matigas kse ulo ko 😂 mabilis nga si Sir Petitemomma naaliw ako :) advance happy anniversary!

  4. Sabi nga naman, be a cook in the kitchen, a nanny to your kids and a ***** in the bedroom! Hahaha

    Malaking check!

  5. Be your partner's personal porn star! Dalhin mo sa langit ang asawa mo! Hahaha! Ang lupeeetttt! I enjoy reading your story, Kat! I love it!

    1. Hahahaha! Kaya dumadami na anak. Chos. Hahaha! Thanks! :)

  6. wow kat grabe ikaw ang first girlfriend nya tapos sya first boyfriend bihira yun ha


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