Mommyhood and Opportunity Loss?



Back in college I failed the basic economics class in UP. At that time I didn't feel sad because I knew in my heart that I made it happen that way. With high hopes, I took it as an opportunity to re-learn the subject. That started my love-hate relationship with economics. More than 15 years later, an economics term resurfaced: opportunity loss.

Opportunity loss is the benefit lost by choosing another course of action. 

As much as I can I try to get away from Facebook newsfeed because one, it eats up precious time and two, I get distracted from work. The other day though, the distraction was so bad that I stopped working and gave things some thought. Muni-muni muna ako. What made me distracted? A photo of moms out on an event on a weekday. Yes, a weekday. So I started asking questions inside my head:

"Wala ba silang work?"

"Hindi ba nila sinundo anak nila today sa school?"

"Bakit sila nakakalabas on a weekday na hindi bitbit mga anak nila?"

And so on.

Initially I felt envious of them. 

Buti pa sila pwedeng lumabas na walang akay-akay na bata. Buti pa sila ang ganda ng make up. Buti pa sila ang gaganda ng mga katawan nila. Buti pa sila pwedeng lumabas anytime. Buti pa sila...

Being a stay-at-home mom can be draining. And I have been a SAHM for more than six years. If it was not for blogging and working online, I probably would have lost my marbles. Seriously, nakakabaliw ang nasa bahay lang. Paulit ulit na chores, stress sa mga makukulit na bata, puyat, pagod. No wonder madaming tsismosa sa kanto kasi yun ang paraan nila para mag de-stress. Madaming pumapatol sa mga viral videos online kasi yun ang paraan nila para makalimot sa tambak na labahan na naghihintay. We all have different ways to cope. And for me it is through writing and work (yes, work kasi hello may money ako to buy stuffs I want. Haha!)

Now back dun sa photo na nakita ko. Swerte sila ano? Ako hindi man lang makapagsuklay.

So much opportunity to socialize and make money was lost because I have to stay at home and be with the kids.

But is it really an opportunity loss?

I gazed at my youngest son and there with his cutest grin I knew in my heart that being a mother at home with them is not an opportunity loss. But an opportunity not all moms are blessed with.

I looked back at the photo of the moms on Facebook and started to think:

"Baka naman nasundo na nya anak nya kanina bago umalis for the event."

"Baka naman malalaki na mga anak niya kaya kaya na nilang maiwan sa bahay galing sa school."

"Baka naman it took her hours para mapaganda make-up nya dahil may mga bata na nangungulit."

"Baka naman nakiusap sya sa asawa nya na magbantay muna ng bata dahil minsan lang sya lumabas with friends."

"Baka naman nag hire sya ng babysitter."

These moms have certainly made sacrifices to be where they are. And just because I see them out and about today, it doesn't mean their lives are perfect and mine is such a waste. 

Each of us have choices to make. We made a choice not to hire a helper because we want to be private and comfortable na kami lang ng pamilya ko. I made a choice to be a stay-at-home and be the manager of my family. I made a choice not to comb my hair. I made a choice to stay up at night just to have some me time. I made a choice to sleep while our baby sleeps and let the dishes be piled up in the sink.

We all make choices. And if we are willing, we pay to make that choice.

What price are you willing to pay for you to have flat abs? Ako I know na hindi ko kaya mag planking at exercise kaya hello bilbil. 

What price are you willing to pay for you to be able to have helpers and babysitters? Are you willing to spend more time and energy to create and sustain a business that will help you cover your help expenses?

What price are you willing to pay to have that Korean glass skin? Do you have the patience to complete the steps to achieve that goal?

My point is, there is no opportunity losses for moms. In every choice we make, there are gains. And if in my current season na maliliit pa ang mga bata at mas kailangan pa ako, at wala akong pagkakataon pa na lumabas ng madalas, so be it.

Opportunity loss to earn and socialize, but opportunity gain for spending quality time with my children.

There is always a season for everything.

Darating din ako sa season na walang batang dedede saken, walang batang magpapakarga, walang batang manghihila ng paa ko kapag gusto kong mag exercise. Magpapaalam din ako sa bilbil ko someday. Magagawan ko din ng paraan na makalabas ng walang bitbit na anak someday. Magkakaroon din ako ng pagkakataon. Balang araw. Sa susunod na season.










Comments

  1. Nakakabaliw,relate po ako sa inyo momi.sa araw araw na lang na ginawa ng ating Diyos,paulit ulit na lang din ang ginagawa natin.nakakaramdam tayo ng inip kahit tambak ang gawain natin.Nakakaramdam tayo ng lungkot kahit masaya naman tayo sa relasyon natin sa ating mga anak at asawa.
    Nacoconcious tayo sa sarili natin kasi nakikita natin yung ibang working mom,nakapustura,nakamake up.may dalang magagarang bag.Samantalang tayo nsa bahay lang.hehe.as usual,naka short,sando o bistida.
    Pero dati natry ko na din magwork kahit 3 months pa lang baby ko.Di ko rin naman kinaya.ako rin ang sumuko kasi hinahanap hanap ko ang baby ko.at guilty ako na iniiwan ko sya sa pangangalaga ng iba.kaya tinigil ko na rin mag work.hehe.ewan ko ba..

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    1. I was also a working mom for two years. Iba din kasi ang nadudulot ng tingin natin sa sarili if we are earning for ourselves. Syempre bago nag-asawa we were on our own, independent and thriving. Pero yun nga, there's a season for everything. Now we are called to intentional parenting, make the best out of it na lang. :)

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  2. Oh how I wish nasa bahay lang din ako to take care of the kids. You are not alone sis! You are doing a great job homeschooling your kids. I actually admire you for your dedication.

    As for me, swerte ko kasi my partner is very supportive on whatever I do. He lets me attend events while he takes care of the kids. My sacrifices is not spending a lot of time with the kids having a full time work while he (having his own sacrifices) not having to work but needs to be with the kids all the time. We chose this setup it's not the normal one but its what working for our family.

    And its true in whatever we do we have a lot of sacrifices we lose, we gain maibigay lang natin lahat para sa mga kids naten. :)

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    1. I admire your setup. Unusual, pero taas kamay ako sa mga couples who make it work. Kasi di ba yung ibang lalake ma-ego, gusto sila ang nagwowork. I know a few couples where the mommy's work earns more kaya si husband ang naging househusband. The kids love their dad. These kids grow up to be wonderful people dahil walang gender biases. :)

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    2. Ooh I am super ingget nga sa papa nila kasi kahit na sya yung madalas mamalo, they still love him! Napagalitan na ang mga yan pero pagtulog mas gusto pa rin nila katabi Papa nila. Unfair diba? Ha Ha Ha But it makes my heart happy kasi kahit ako yung nagtatrabaho, may isa pa ring parent na nag aalaga sa mga kids. Ayoko din ng ibang tao yung nag aalaga sa kanila. So yeah tiis-tiis muna talaga kame.

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