Ooops We Did It Again... And Again!

Baby Number3's Gender revealed

In the same month in 2014, I wrote about the early Christmas and anniversary gift we received. I was pregnant with Baby #2. Now two years later, I am writing for another news, a blessing from above: Baby #3.

We were not prepared for the third pregnancy, I was really sure that Z would be our bunso and we weren't planning of expanding the family. In fact earlier this year I already gave out my maternity clothes and the baby stuffs we have. My heart and mind was sure na quota na ako.

Financially speaking, we are still recovering and were taking steps to be finacially free. It's a long way to go but I saw bright days ahead. Syempre dapat positive lagi. I even got myself a life insurance with mutual funds this year because I have forecasted my finances and I reckoned I can sustain the payments.

I was excited to see Z walking and exploring and I thought to myself, "Ayan bata na sya. Pwede na dalhin kahit saan. Pwede na maiwan. Pwede na ako maglamyerda. Pwede na ako maka-attend ulet ng blog events. Makakapag spa na ulet ako."

I was also excited to save up for a summer escapade next year because I have not been to the beach since 2014. And Little V has been asking for a beach vacation. I was anticipating to see Z's reaction seeing the beach for the first time. I was ready for it. I could smell the ocean already.

And then it happened.

My period was delayed. I thought, "nah, stressed lang siguro ako kasi nagkasakit ako."

And then the days turned to a week.

"Imposible ako mabuntis. Kalkulado ko ang ovulation ko."

I took a pregnancy test and it was negative.

Whew. Delayed lang siguro kasi I'm still exclusively breastfeeding Z.

And then another week came.

Hala.

I took another PT and the second line was faint.

I was in denial and told myself, "chemical reaction lang yan, beyond the reading time na yan."

Two days later I gathered all the strength I have and took another pregnancy test. This time it was bright.

Sh*t just got real.

My husband who has been anxious as well couldn't believe it as well.

I mean, pano? Bakit? We were so careful. And my ovulation has not been delayed before, until this incident. Ang galing naman ng timing!

Masama na ako pero at that time I was open to accepting a miscarriage. That I wouldn't mind losing this baby inside of me. I was in denial.

Hurt because all my plans will suddenly be put aside.

Worried of the expenses.

Angry because Z would no longer be our bunso.

Agitated because I'd be stuck in the corners of my house for a longer time.

Furious.

Mad at God for allowing this to happen.

For weeks I was miserable inside.

It was my son, Vito, who changed my heart.

He said he has a baby brother inside my tummy. I told him, "pano kung baby sister ulet?"

He answered, "Hindi nagkakamali si God, Mama. Alam naman nya na may baby sister na ako. So baby brother na yan."

A few weeks before learning about this pregnancy, V said, "God I want a baby brother."

I told him that we are fine with having him and his sister as our kids and having another baby would mean Mama would have a harder time to take care of them.

Little did I know that once again, He listened to a child's prayer.

V is right. God does not make mistakes.

I finally accepted in my heart that this baby is a blessing. It has been. Will always be.

Husband and I agreed that it's also best for me to be pregnant now since I am moving towards mid-30s already and delaying it would mean a higher pregnancy risk. Also, the kids would enjoy playing with each other since their ages are not too distant.

So blessed that my husband has been my comfort all these years.

My first trimester was smoother compared to my second pregnancy. It was as if the symptoms were the same with my first pregnancy. The only difference though is I had (still have) cravings for meat, beef in particular. I grinned each time my husband brought me shawarma and cheeseburger. The best husband ever!

And now that I am in my second trimester, we were excited to know if our son is right again in his prediction of his sibling's gender. My mother-in-law also had a dream that Baby #3 is a boy (she also had a dream that Baby #2 is a girl when Z was still in utero)

Last Wednesday, we went to see my OB-Sonologist Dr. Katrina Adan. Zoe sat beside me on the bed while Hubby and V sat on a chair as the doctor performed the ultrasound. Lo and behold! It's a baby boy! :)
Tama na naman si Kuya V at Mama L!

Baby Googi (as named by V) is all and well inside of me. He has been busy kicking and moving around specially last Christmas eve.

Although I have worries - how in the world to take care of 3 kids, the blowing expenses, where to give birth again, homeschool - I know in my heart that God has plans for me and for the family. And He has and will never abandon us. I put all my trust in Him and enjoy the journey one day at a time.
Dear Googi,

Hi Baby. Mama is sorry for all the ill feelings she felt against you a few months ago. I promise to be a better Mama to you. Continue to move around and kick me specially when I stay up late at night and stress you. Kuya and Ate loves you so much, baby. They kiss my tummy all the time. They are now "practicing" how to care for a baby using your sister's baby doll; earlier they gave it a bath. They are excited to finally hug you.

Mama and Papa love you so much. We are still discussing what name to give you. Please don't get mad if we give you a name from a PS4 game, ha. Your two siblings have names from Anime shows. That's how crazy your parents are. Haha! Don't worry, your name will be perfect for you.

I love you. Sleep na tayo, anak.

Love,
Mama