Parenting

Scaring Kids is a Booo!

6:56 PM

Are you afraid of the dark?

What are you afraid of? Ever wondered why you had those fears?


I know someone who is afraid of mascots. She was already in her mid-20s when one afternoon we passed by Galleria and a mascot came out of a store. My friend suddenly ran and cowered at the back of a friend. After the incident, she explained that she has a phobia of mascots. I don't find her weirdness cute, in fact I find it very irritating at first.  Then I started to think - what could have made her so afraid of mascots?

 Image courtesy of Prawny at FreeDigitalPhotos.net



"Hala sige ka andyan na yung monster, kukunin ka na!"
(Go ahead, the monster's there to get you)

"Ay, mamang pulis o! Si junior ayaw sumunod. Hala ayan na yung pulis. Isisilid ka na sa sako."
(Mr. Policeman! Junior doesn't listen to us. There's the police, he'll put you inside a sack)


How many times have we heard these lines from parents, relatives, and nannies? Scaring kids just so the little ones would follow what the adults wanted them to do. I have often found myself almost having to give a lecture to nannies at the playground who do that to the kids they care for - but I didn't. Why? Because sometimes nannies treat those kids that way because they saw it from the parents of these kids. Yup. They followed OUR lead - the parents. If that's how their parents want to raise their children, I don't need to meddle on that. They have their own reasons.

Hubby and I have agreed (even before our son was born) that we will not expose our child to scaring. No monsters, ghosts, or witches should be used to frighten and discipline. This was also our instruction to his nanny before.

Kids have wild imaginations and telling them tell tales just to get their attention is not the most effective way of discipline. They see things on a real plane, unlike adults who know the differences between reality and fantasy. Planting unnecessary fears into children's minds would affect them later in life. Just look at what happened to my friend.

 Image courtesy of artur84 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net


It's Halloween time again. Trick or treat, costume parties, horror stories, frightful displays and scary movies are everywhere. Whenever our little one would say that he saw something scary, we immediately explain to him, for example, that that zombie is just part of a story; it's unreal. That he can just punch the zombie (read my side story on this below. sigh). 

I am thankful for Little V's book, Max the Monster, and Disney movies like Monsters Inc and Monsters University as they give kids a different perspective on monsters.

Now when he sees scary costumes or the zombie commercial on Star Movies, he would say, "Mama yan yung funny oh. Di naman yan scary eh" (Mama that's the funny one. It's not scary)





Side story
Last Saturday we attended the Halloween party of Mommy Bloggers Philippines and some little boys dressed up as zombies. While we were on queue at the side of the stage waiting for my son's turn to show his race car costume for judging, he left me and approached the kids in zombie. A few seconds later he came back and said, "sinipa ko yung zombie" (I kicked the zombie). Oh no. Sorry Mommy Pehpot!! We had a heart to heart talk after the party. He's to attend a couple more parties and I don't want him to hurt another zombie or monster!


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8 comments

  1. I have to agree with you on this. I was afraid of heights, zipline, and some extreme adventures because mom said it was dangerous. Yes it was and it is, but I had the urge to try them out before. My parents on the other hand are over protective said things which inculcated in my mind the worst possible case that might happen. So now, eto ako duwag. Sigh.

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    1. I feel you, sis. I'm sure our parents just wanted what's best for us. I haven't tried zipline yet, maybe we should ;)

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  2. I myself have decided even before I had my son that I will not scare any kid just so they would follow anything I will say. I've seen some kids kasi being scared by parents and when the kids find out that it was unreal, the adult loses their credibility and in turn, kids started to question everything an adult will say.. Ganyan kasi nangyari sa pamangkin ko.. Good thing that he didn't develop an phobia of an kind

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    1. I agree, dear. Happy to know that your nephew didn't develop any phobias.

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  3. Agree, Kat! Moreso, I'm also not for using other people to scare kids--"Ayan na si Tito (blank)!"

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  4. I'm glad our girls are not on that "scaring stage" yet during Halloween. They already attended two Halloween parties and some of them were wearing scary costumes and they're okay with it. Let's see how they react this Friday.

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    1. I hope they'll have a great time, Gladys! :)

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